Every year I get a flurry of wonderful emails from friends and family, usually with photos of their kids, or their pets or their friends and warm wishes for the new year. But every year I am also sharply reminded, both in mainstream media and in public areas and by my theist friends that Christmas is *really* about the Birth of Jesus.
Apparently these same friends and good intentioned people have forgotten that Jesus’ birthday is unknown. Not only is his entire life without extra-biblical record, early christians chose Dec 25 after 300 AD which was an existing and globally observed holiday. So exclusive they were, they actively begun to oppress the celebration of “Winter Solstice”, including traditions such as decorating an indoor tree that it is mentioned in Josiah 10:2-4.
“For the customs of the people are vain: for one cutteth a tree out of the forest, the work of the hands of the workman, with the axe. They deck it with silver and with gold; they fasten it with nails and with hammers, that it move not.”
So when someone reminds you that the “reason for the season” is the birth of Jesus, remind them of the 8th commandment, Thou Shalt Not Steal. For that is precisely what the early christian church did with the holiday.
A trend that reached it’s peak in 2008, the top ten list has dominated mindshare all year. A clever tactic, some note, for reproducing website content from elsewhere and presenting it in a new contextual light for the audience to debate about in the comments. Not since Duchamp’s Fountain has anyone so successfully thrown new perspective onto someone else’s mediocrity and come away with seemingly original content.
So without further ado, I’d like to present 2008’s Ten most popular top 10 lists!
10. Top Ten Angry Television Reporter Moments Caught on Tape
Ahh theres nothing more satisfying than watching the cool, calm and collected facades of television news reporters reach breaking point, only to reveal their true unfiltered id.
9. Top Ten Harmless Geek Pranks
Lifehacker, who feature multiple times in the top ten top ten lists of 2008, brings us this funny, albiet niche list of pranks to tickle the funnybone of most nerds, and only entrench their dork stigma in the eyes of others who will roll their eyes with disdain.
8. Top Ten Signs you Drank too much (PICS)
Drunk pictures are aplenty on the internet, so thank the lord jesus someone had the creative nous to sieve the best ten of them for us so we don’t have to.
7. Top Ten Banned Books
TIME magazine reminds us just how edgy and objective they are by providing us with a list of the top ten books that were banned for our sensitive, innocent eyes. Ohh La La!
6. Top Ten WTF US Sex Laws
Proving both that diggers love a post with sex and irony, the top ten WTF US Sex Laws reminds us that just because the law says it’s so, doesn’t mean it should be. Viva the Revolution.
5. Top Ten Obscure Google Search Tricks
Lifehacker come to the top ten party again to show us a heap of great advanced tips for stalking your ex online, or um, doing research for your university thesis.
4. Top Ten Bittorrent Tools and Tricks
Lifehacker AGAIN proves their geek cred with the gentle advocation of the most popular piracy technology with their top ten list of super tips for squeezing the most out of your torrents.
3. Top Ten Products Only A Douchbag Would Buy (PICS)
Someone is making money on the internet, it’s not you and it’s for a range of product you weren’t smart enough to think of to tap the growing douche market.
2. Top Ten Wrongly Placed Products
Failure is a popular theme in the top ten top ten list for 2008, and this list of visual faux pas is no exception.
1. Top Ten Reasons Why Kanye West is a Douche
The undisputed champion top ten list, striking a chord across all demographics was mamapop’s Top Ten Reasons Kayne West deserves the DOUCHE status we all so intuitively bestow on the man. Congratulations Kanye, and Mamapop, you are the #1 top ten list for 2008 and by golly - you deserve it!